The Convention
by Da Games Elite
Summary: In ACROSS'S newest plot, Il Pallazzo has broken the fourth wall and summoned the evil villains of the multiverse into his humble town of F city! Chaos runs rampade. Note that it includes random pairings, some yaoi and yuri, but all for the sake of humor.
1. Chapter 1

"Well, what makes you so special, Orochimaru, that you have the arrogance to claim you to be the better villain?" Frieza asked, chuckling under his breath.

The snake-like antagonist grinned a sinister grin, "Well, I tried to start an entire war, killed a major leader in the nation, AND tried to possess a teenage boy!"

"Pedophile!" coughed Zarbon, who was standing nearby Frieza.

"Hohoho…" Frieza chuckled, "That is nothing compared to me! I conquered most of the galaxy and slaughtered trillions of people when I destroyed their planets!"

Orochimaru couldn't hide his shock, but then regained his confidence, "I've heard worse…"

"Really? Find one person out there more devious than I am!"

Orochimaru pointed at a random woman passing by. She was dressed in golden armor that sparkled in the dim light of the chamber, with large jewels hanging from her hair and ears. She turned her graceful neck to glance at them through the corner of her eyes.

"What makes you so special?"

"Did you conquer an entire galaxy?" Frieza laughed, confidently.

"Galaxy?" the woman said, grinning, "I conquered the majority of the universe!"

"What!?" Frieza stammered, unable to comprehend this, "This is impossible!"

"I was going to blow it all up, too, when I was done," the woman said, grinning.

"And you are who?" Orochimaru asked, equally stunned.

"Sailor Galaxia! But what I did is nothing compared to what he did!" Galaxia said, pointing at a figure standing in the shadows.

They all turned to see a man wearing a large baboon suit over him. Frieza wanted to comment on his terrible fashion sense, something that Zarbon didn't hesitate to criticize.

"He wore THAT with those shoes. Really, people these days have no sense of fashion!"

"Zarbon, stop being a flaming homosexual."

"Right."

"Who are you?" Orochimaru asked.

"I am Naraku."

"What makes you so evil?" Frieza asked.

"I kept Inuyasha lasting 165 episodes!"

Frieza and Orochimaru gasped, "No! Impossible!" Frieza snarled, "That's true evil!"

"And I left it with no resolution!"

"You sick twisted bastard!" Orochimaru trembled.

"Yes," a figure with long white hair and a moon on his forehead stated, "But I made those episodes interesting."


	2. Chapter 2

Three Months Earlier

"HAIL IL PALLAZZO!!!"

"Well, it's good to see you in one piece after your last mission, agent Excel…"

"Right, Il Pallazzo," Excel said, "After diving head first into a river full of sharks with my feet being bitten and the ice water closing in on me I was saved by a miraculously handsome merman who enjoyed touching my breasts that wound up to be made of sandpaper, blalalalalblablablahblah…"

"Senior Excel," Hyatt said, turning to face Excel, "We never went into a river. We just went to the Gobi Desert…"

"I'm telling him what happened!" Excel snarled.

Il Pallazzo reached for a long rope that had descended from the ceiling, and pulled it. A trap door opened up from under Excel. She tumbled down into oblivion, but that didn't seem to keep her obnoxiously high voice from echoing through the chamber. Il Pallazzo savored the great splash at the bottom before continuing, "Well, Agent Hyatt, did you find what we were looking for?"

"No, sir, as it was buried under the—erk…" Hyatt clutched her breast before falling to the side, herself falling into the great hole and falling down and down. Il Pallazzo could hear Excel scream as she broke Hyatt's fall. He couldn't deny he wasn't amused.

After waiting ten minutes, Excel emerged from the pit, Hyatt in her arms, "Gezz, Hyatt, we need to work on your habit of dying like that!"

"Sorry, senior…" Excel moaned, a trickle of blood running down from her mouth.

"Alright…" the long white haired Il Pallazzo muttered under his breathe, "It would appear that every one of our schemes to conquer the city has ended in miserable failure, but now we have a fool proof plot that will leave no room for error!"

"What's that?"

"The answer is simple, my dear idiot Excel," Il Pallazzo said, "We need to recruit specialists in conquest!"

"Specialists?" Hyatt asked.

"We will summon the characters from other universes, and then petition to them if they will aid us in our conquest!" Il Pallazzo said, "And then the world will follow!"

"Il Pallazzo! You're a genius!" Excel cried in reverence, "Only the grand Lord Il Pallazzo could ever comprehend such a grand idea! And I, Excel Excel, will do anything to realize your plans!"

"But sir, isn't that breaking the Fourth Wall?" Hyatt asked.

"I am afraid that we already have broken the Fourth Wall awhile ago," Il Pallazzo stated, bluntly, "Surely if we force it apart a little more nothing too serious should happen. And besides, through the power of Suspension of Disbelief, we'll be able to summon all the villains to this lair for a great Convention!"

"Lord Il Pallazzo, what can Excel do?" Excel asked, speaking in the third person.

"You, Excel, will be able to clean the infrastructure of our plan, and ensure that nothing comes unnoticed by our guests! Make sure the filth and rubbish is driven away, that the foul odors of wickedness are driven out, and that we are known as the greatest force in all their universes!"

"I accept, Lord Il Pallazzo!" Excel said, sharply.

------

"Oh man, this sucks!" Excel cried as she pushed the dust into the dustpan. When Il Pallazzo had said "clean the infrastructure of our plan", Excel hadn't expected he meant it in a literal sense.

"Hey!" A man walked over. He was dressed in a suit and tie, and his glasses reflected the light around him. He stood hunched over with his mouth hanging open. He stared at Excel.

"What is this man standing before Excel?" Excel began to speak aloud as if she were having some sort of bizarre interior dialogue, "Is he a pervert or a rapist, perhaps?"

"Who is your boss?" he asked.

"Who are you?"

"Mr. Kimura."

"I see…why do you want to speak to the Grand Lord Il Pallazzo?"

"Because something's wrong!"

"Wrong?" Wrong with the plan? Excel couldn't let Il Pallazzo find out, or else he's punish her for sure! "Why don't you just tell good ol' Excel all about it!"

"Alright…" Mr. Kimura said, "There's a problem with your uniform."

"What?" Excel looked down at herself. She fingered the fabric, tentatively.

"Yes…" Mr. Kimura pulled out a picture of a woman wearing skimpy clothing, "This should be your uniform!"

Excel stood still for a moment, but then grabbed her gun and blasted Mr. Kimura's skull in.

"Excel…what did I tell you about killing our patrions?"

"Lord Il Pallazzo…?" Excel turned around just in time to see the barrel of a gun pressed against Excel's forehead, "Don't worry, Il Pallazzo! We can always ask that big spinning wheel person to fix it! It'll be o—AGH!!!"

Il Pallazzo pulled the trigger anyway.

A second passed before Excel and Kimura were brought back to life. While Kimura lumbered away, Excel pouted, "Why did you shoot me?"

"It was rather amusing, to say the least."


	3. Chapter 3

"Buu want candy!" a massive, gelatinous blob yelled into a nearby vendor's face, "Give Buu candy!"

"I'm sorry, sir," the man snarled, "But this is a segregated booth. If you want to have candy, you have to go to the alien booth like everyone else."

"Buu hate you!"

"I don't give two shits, really."

"Buu make you dead! Turn you to chocolate!"

In a flash of pink light, the vender had been turned into a six foot mountain of chocolate. Buu picked him up, and carried him to a corner where he began to munch on what had once been his brain.

"Man tasty!"

---------

"Lady Yui, was it truly necessary to bring the entire Seiryu Seven with you?" Nakago asked, a slightly annoyed tone in is voice.

"Of course it was!" Yui snarled, "They said villains, so we brought them!"

"Yes, my lady, but was it really necessary to come holding hands with every person we have affection for?"

The Priestess of Seiryu, Yui Hongo, was holding one hand with Nakago, one hand with Suboshi, while Nakago was holding a hand with Soi, Tomo was riding on Nakago's back, and Ashitare was clinging to his leg as he licked his thigh. Ashitare held Miboshi in his hands.

"At least you aren't dog-boy's chew toy!" cried Miboshi.

"It's your fault for being so butt ugly you couldn't get a date like everyone else in our show!" Soi snarled, stamping on Miboshi's skull, "I mean, where we come from EVERYONE is involved in some sort of love triangle!"

"Yes," Nakago said, "Perhaps we should sit in this area."

"Nakago, this is a bar…" Yui mumbled, blinking as she looked around at the area around her.

"I'm going to need it," Nakago mumbled.

At that moment, a man with short dark hair passed by them. He glanced briefly at Yui before passing away to join a person identical to him, save for her blonde hair and the fact that the twin was female. They walked away, leaving Yui's heart pounding against her chest.

"He's so beautiful…"

"But I thought I was your true love!" Suboshi cried, reaching out for her as she wondered away after the twins.

"I cannot understand why she would be so unloyal!" Soi laughed, "I mean, with my beautiful Nakago here, how could anyone—is that Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru!" Soi rushed after the white haired man who's pace had significantly increased the moment Soi shouted his name.

"They'll be back," Suboshi mumbled.

"Certainly."

"It is amazing how their loyalty wavers," Tomo said, his voice as faggy as ever, "They can separate from you so—wait a moment."

"Not you too."

"Is that Aizen?"

Tomo was off in moments.

"Well, sir, at least you still have Ashitare!" Suboshi said.

Nakago sent a ki blast flying into Suboshi's chest, sending him into the ceiling where he remained embedded.


End file.
